The Big Picture - Jigsaws
“It’s a way to control the chaos… Life is messy, it doesn’t make any goddam sense…
There’s nothing we can do to control anything but when you complete a puzzle, when you finish it, you know that you have made all the right choices, no matter how many long pieces you try to fit into a wrong place, but at the very end, everything makes a perfect picture. What other pursuits can give you that kind of perfection?”
I recently watched Puzzle on Netflix. It’s one of those slow burner movies where you ease into it, with familiar characters yet a life you can’t imagine being in. The central premise is a woman trapped in a small life, with grown sons still at home and a controlling husband. She finds her voice and a door to a larger world through jigsaw puzzles. The lovely quote above is from her fellow puzzler. What a wonderful metaphor for what we are all striving for, and I think for those of us trying to find order in the chaos of recovery, it has real poignance.
Early on in my recovery it was suggested that I should do jigsaw puzzles. The aim was to help with concentration, mindfulness and coordination. Jigsaws require concentration, short term memory, problem solving, and studies have shown they can improve cognition and visual-spatial reasoning. In short, they are really good for your brain.
I had never really been that in to jigsaws but the first one I did took me on quite a real emotional journey and now I love them. In that way that you love someone that is a combination of fucking infuriating, gently seductive and marvelously wonderful at the same time.
Every jigsaw brings physical and emotional triumphs and hurdles. My first jigsaw was the Houses of Parliament, pictured. That jigsaw taught me a valuable lesson that I still struggle with. If I spend too long on a jigsaw the concentration and colours cause headaches and nauseous. This usually leads to a battle of wills - I want to keep going but know if I do, I will suffer for hours afterwards.
That first jigsaw I never managed to finish. In fact as you can see from the picture, I used sellotape on the last few pieces, I was defeated by the stupid blue bits.
Failure to Finish
It is entirely acceptable not to finish a jigsaw. It is entirely acceptable to say “fuck this shit.’ and move on. I have had a couple of misfires and my family would concur that The Beatles, Abbey Road album cover caused a lot of swearing. My main bugbears were John Lennon wearing a white suit on a pedestrian crossing (never trust anyone in a white suit) and two thirds of the puzzle was shady tree. I spent days on that jigsaw, and helpers came and went but there was no joy to be had feeling nauseous from looking at 300 pieces the same colour.
Mindfulness
One of my jigsaws suggested that taking a different approach to increase mindfulness. So now I don’t start with the edge pieces, I challenge myself to do a particular section first and work my way out. I spend quite a lot of time at the start just organising the pieces in to colour. I enjoy starting to get a sense of how the colours will start to work/change/develop. This is where I usually get a feeling over being overwhelmed by all the pieces and that I’ll never be able to make sense of them all. And then slowly the picture emerges and the piles of colour become smaller.
Favourites
My absolute favourite has been the Sgt Pepper Lonely Hearts Club Band Album. I loved this one for a number of reasons; wonderful colours, I saw the picture in a new way, the focus let me see things i hadn’t noticed before. But the best thing was the person I love helping me and we had the most lovely conversations while we jigged and sawed. I was sad to put it away at the end but I can always do it again!!
Suggestions
I have learnt the hard way that good posture is crucial while you are doing your jigsaw. If you have head and neck issues, like me, make sure you are in a good position ergonomically. I avoid doing puzzles on coffee tables, as leaning over can cause problems.
I do my puzzles on the dinner table and unfortunately we also need to eat there. I put some newspaper over the puzzle then a table cloth. It keeps it smooth and adds a level of safety from the chronic drink spiller in my family!
I don’t start a jigsaw the day before there are people coming over or something big happening. I try to give myself time and space, I don’t like to feel rushed.
I love listening to an audiobook, podcast or music while a do a jigsaw. It is lovely to feel like I am in a flow like I used to experience working. I am careful not to overdo this, it should feel relaxing so I don’t want to exhaust my brain with too much happening at once.
Be in the moment. I enjoy people coming and going and putting some pieces. I love the gentle conversations to be had as you turn each piece in your fingers and contemplate its position.
Have faith in the big picture. It will come.